have been holding onto no longer fit who you are today? It can start as a small, nagging feeling or a quiet discomfort, but over time it grows into a sense that you are stuck. That something in your life does not match the person you have become.

Most of us carry versions of ourselves that no longer serve us. We cling to beliefs that were passed down to us without question. We hold onto friendships or relationships that made sense at one point but now feel off. We stay in roles at work or at home that no longer match our values or desires. These things are not bad, and they often served an important purpose, but they can quietly block the person you are becoming.

So how do you know if you have outgrown who you used to be? Here are some signs to pay attention to.

You feel exhausted maintaining appearances. Maybe you have a friend group, family dynamic, or social role that no longer fits you. You keep showing up in ways that do not feel authentic because it feels easier than facing the discomfort of change. You might smile and nod along when you really do not agree or force yourself into routines that used to bring comfort but now feel like a chore. That exhaustion is a clue. It is a gentle signal from your inner self telling you that something has shifted.

You replay the past in your head. Do you catch yourself thinking about who you used to be and wondering why you do not feel like that anymore? Perhaps you notice old patterns showing up in new situations. You may feel stuck in arguments, habits, or ways of thinking that do not serve you anymore. If you notice this happening more often than not, it might be a sign that you are ready to release what no longer fits.

You feel drawn to new experiences or ideas. When your interests, passions, or priorities start changing, it is usually a good indicator that you are evolving. You might notice yourself drawn to new creative outlets, different friendships, or entirely new ways of approaching your career. These pullings toward new paths are a sign that your inner self is trying to catch up with your external life.

You feel uncomfortable staying the same. Change can be scary, and it is normal to resist it. But if you feel restless, frustrated, or uneasy without knowing exactly why, it might be your intuition nudging you to acknowledge that you are not the same person you were before. That discomfort is not a problem to fix but a signal to pay attention to.

You crave authenticity. You may find yourself tired of wearing masks to please others or fit into molds that were designed for someone else. Maybe you want to speak your truth more freely or explore new aspects of your personality that you have been suppressing. This desire for authenticity often means you are outgrowing old versions of yourself that no longer fit your values or vision.

Noticing these signs is the first step in the process of letting go. It can be both exciting and intimidating to realize that parts of your past self no longer belong in your present life. But the truth is, letting go of outdated identities is not about erasing who you are. It is about giving yourself permission to evolve and become the person you are meant to be.

Letting go does not have to feel like a dramatic rupture. It can be gentle and intentional. Start by reflecting on your beliefs, habits, and relationships. Ask yourself what still serves you and what feels heavy or unnecessary. Journaling can be a powerful tool for this because it allows you to see your patterns on paper and start disentangling what belongs to your past self from what belongs to your present and future self.

Creating personal rituals can also help. Even small gestures can mark a transition and make change feel real. You might write a letter to your old self, perform a small symbolic act to release outdated beliefs, or celebrate your own growth in a way that feels meaningful. These moments of acknowledgment give your inner self permission to evolve and help you step confidently into new ways of being.

One of the hardest parts of outgrowing yourself is releasing relationships that no longer fit. This can feel painful or even guilt-inducing. Remember that letting go is not a punishment or a rejection of the people involved. It is an act of self-care and clarity. You do not owe anyone your old self, and prioritizing your own growth allows both you and the people around you to live more authentically.

Another challenge is recognizing and releasing limiting beliefs. We all tell ourselves stories about who we are and what we can or cannot do. Many of these beliefs were formed early in life and no longer serve our current reality. By questioning these beliefs and experimenting with new ways of thinking, you can start to open space for growth, creativity, and joy.

This is why I wrote my book Outgrown. It is a guide for anyone who feels stuck living a version of themselves that no longer fits. In the book, you will find actionable steps for identifying what no longer serves you, journal prompts for self-reflection, frameworks for creating personal rituals, and guidance for releasing outdated identities and beliefs without guilt or drama. Each chapter is designed to help you step confidently into the person you are becoming while honoring the journey that brought you here.

Remember, transformation is not a single event. It is a process of noticing, reflecting, and taking small, intentional steps toward your new life. You are not the same person you were five minutes ago, five months ago, or five years ago. Each moment offers an opportunity to let go of what is heavy and embrace what feels aligned with your true self.

If you are ready to stop carrying identities, beliefs, and relationships that no longer serve you, Outgrown can help guide you through the process with clarity, intention, and grace. Your future self is waiting.

Find a paperback or ebook version of my book here.